Thursday, May 10, 2007

Love Language #2: Gifts

I've had the book "The Five Love Languages for Singles" by Gary Chapman on my nightstand for over a year now. I bought it last year because I had heard how great his books were and the idea of Love Languages really intrigued me. Sad to say I still have not read the book but it has been in my knitting bag for a week now pushing it to the front of my reads behind the Bible.

Earlier last week I had come across a show on OnDemand entitled "Everyday Woman." This is a Christian show fashioned like the View where 4 women of different generations and backgrounds discuss the issues of the day but from a Christian perspective. At first it seemed a little sappy but I liked it. On this particular show Gary Chapman was the guest and what he said about the Love Languages really touched my heart.

Gary says that every one has a primary love language and possibly 2 to 3 secondary love languages from which they operate in order to give love and feel the most loved. The five languages are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Gifts
  3. Acts of Service
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch

I plan to touch on all of these in the future as I read the book but today I wanted to touch on my primary love language and that is the language of Giving.

A gift is a tangible object that says, "I was thinking about you. I
wanted you to have this. I love you."...Anthropologists have never
discovered a culture whre gift giving is not an expression of love. Giving
gifts is one of the fundamental universal languages of love...The important
thing is not the gift but the emotional love that was communicated by the
gift. The right gift is any token, big or small, which speaks the
emotional love.

The Greek word from which we get our English word gift is charis, which means "grace," or an undeserved gift...A gift is given without strings attached or it ceases to be a gift...It is no longer a gift when you use it to soothe a wrong commited.

I love to give gifts! Those who know me IR would probably say this goes without saying. I love giving presents, time and my service. I love it when others recognize that I have taken the time to learn something that is dear to their heart and they benefit from it. I like to see the look of "I'm loved" on their faces.

When someone is a gifter, then they also love to receive gifts. Loving to receive gifts is totally different than expecting something in return for a gift given. When I give gifts I don't expect anything in return. I could care less if someone bought me anything. I often cringe when people feel the need to return a present given with a present. I don't feel that that is thanks but that that person doesn't want to owe me anything. Moreso guilt. A thank you card or a sincere thank you spoken would suffice. I want to see your eyes sparkle.

For a gifter to truly feel love you must give them gifts. It doesn't have to be anything big. Just something that lets them know you were thinking about them, that they were not forgotten, and that you are concerned about them and their life. A card, a handmade item, a pretty bookmark, etc. I don't care how rich a person is. No one ever has everything they could possibly want. If he/she is having financial trouble, offering to pay a bill, pay for lunch, take them out for a fun evening, or giving them a cash love gift goes a long way. Make it sincere! Gift givers have such a hard time when they don't have the means to give gifts like they would like.

I was so blessed this week. I got an opportunity to give gifts and I received a couple of great gifts. I give much love to my church family. Especially to my Pastor who always gives from the depths of her heart. Thanks to Dee Dee who gave me this great bag of makeup. I love makeup and it was so sweet. I got many of the colors I had been wanting. I can't wait to try the creme blush.

Now look at what the Lord has done! It is the Curacao Shawl from the Amazing Crochet Lace book. I'm excited that I get the opportunity to present this love gift to my church sister Jacqueline tonight. I hope she loves it. Would you believe it only took me 12 hours to make. I'm ecstatic!



Judy said...

Wow! That is just beautiful! Is that a cell phone next to it! I was trying to figure out how large the shawl was. Very nice, I'm sure your friend will love and appreciate it.

Christie said...

Beautiful! That's also on my list of shawls to crochet.

Sheila said...

WoW... it only took 12 hours... phenomenally beautiful... great job.

Adrienne said...

BEAUTIFUL!!! I have that book for married couples and its wonderful!

Angela said...

That is gorgeous! You did a great job. Angela 'La Vonne' Best

Nikki said...

That shawl is drop dead gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

girl this is sooo fly!!

im jelly you can crochet soo well!