I said I'd tell you so let the Benita Betrell in me get to it!
About three weeks ago DM asked if I wouldn't mind booking an indefinite extended stay for a guest named Peter Pan (PP for short), his wife Sister Dejected (henceforth called SDJ) and two daughters Surly Teenager 16 (ST) and Lying Butterfly 8 (LB). Originally there were 3 kids but when they found out that the Motel added a surcharge on for every kid they ditched him. Apparently Little Steppin Fetchit belonged to SDJ's sister so she sent him back home. Where ever that was. Don't worry though over the course of their stay he makes numerous appearances to use The Motel ammenities all the while acting less than intelligent, shiftless, and obstinant. 3 year olds shouldn't be this way but when you hang around PP you are bound to pick up all sorts of backwards habits including a groupie like love for 50 Cent.
I didn't mind. Heck, they needed help so why not.
It began as it always does. PP and SDJ agreed to pay the room rate on time, and buy their own food in exchange for the upper level First Room Suite with Dining Room attached and in short distance from the spa bathroom. They agreed to smoke in the DESIGNATED, ahem designated smoking areas, park their two cars in their designated parking spots, attend to their own children (this is absolutely not the Plaza Hotel and not a one of them is named Eloise), get jobs, and be all around merry to the other guests and staff.
But no...Since being here they have not bought a drop of food to feed their young spawn. Have not parked in their designated parking. Have commenced to smoking not only on the front veranda but also on the side porch (outside said asthmatic staffers window), in the storage areas, and I believe in the spa bathroom - turning it from spa to putrid water hole. Have not gotten nan job, walk around looking despondent and blue to everyone, leave their kids at the drop of a hat to go nowhere but somewhere. Eat all the food in their paths, mix all their smoke filled dirty clothes with DM and TG's in their clothes hamper (TG is still reeling from that one), dont' clean up and and guess what? The Coup D'etat! Bring home a ROTTWEILER!
TG said they couldn't have it, but they've figured out a way to get DM onboard. I guess that may end today as the rott has gone a number two on the lobby carpet. But that's just a small part. The next morning after his arrival he was in the storage (yes near said staff member's storage) presumably in his cage crying to all high heaven. Yelping and and barking right outside of my window (of course) and within earshot of TG.
Their stay thus far has been full of fireworks, including a very explosive episode with said staff member, a large cast-iron skillet, and the head of PP. I refuse to be bullied.
I've got much more to tell you, but I'll stop right here. Next week I think it may be a good idea to give you a primer on who everyone actually is. Like a list of charactere at the beginning of a play.