Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Motel Babylon...The Saga Continues

I said I'd tell you so let the Benita Betrell in me get to it!

About three weeks ago DM asked if I wouldn't mind booking an indefinite extended stay for a guest named Peter Pan (PP for short), his wife Sister Dejected (henceforth called SDJ) and two daughters Surly Teenager 16 (ST) and Lying Butterfly 8 (LB). Originally there were 3 kids but when they found out that the Motel added a surcharge on for every kid they ditched him. Apparently Little Steppin Fetchit belonged to SDJ's sister so she sent him back home. Where ever that was. Don't worry though over the course of their stay he makes numerous appearances to use The Motel ammenities all the while acting less than intelligent, shiftless, and obstinant. 3 year olds shouldn't be this way but when you hang around PP you are bound to pick up all sorts of backwards habits including a groupie like love for 50 Cent.

I didn't mind. Heck, they needed help so why not.

It began as it always does. PP and SDJ agreed to pay the room rate on time, and buy their own food in exchange for the upper level First Room Suite with Dining Room attached and in short distance from the spa bathroom. They agreed to smoke in the DESIGNATED, ahem designated smoking areas, park their two cars in their designated parking spots, attend to their own children (this is absolutely not the Plaza Hotel and not a one of them is named Eloise), get jobs, and be all around merry to the other guests and staff.

But no...Since being here they have not bought a drop of food to feed their young spawn. Have not parked in their designated parking. Have commenced to smoking not only on the front veranda but also on the side porch (outside said asthmatic staffers window), in the storage areas, and I believe in the spa bathroom - turning it from spa to putrid water hole. Have not gotten nan job, walk around looking despondent and blue to everyone, leave their kids at the drop of a hat to go nowhere but somewhere. Eat all the food in their paths, mix all their smoke filled dirty clothes with DM and TG's in their clothes hamper (TG is still reeling from that one), dont' clean up and and guess what? The Coup D'etat! Bring home a ROTTWEILER!

YESSSSSS! These negroes guests have no place of their own and can barely afford the cost to wake up in the morning but can afford to go and get themselves a damn puppy!

TG said they couldn't have it, but they've figured out a way to get DM onboard. I guess that may end today as the rott has gone a number two on the lobby carpet. But that's just a small part. The next morning after his arrival he was in the storage (yes near said staff member's storage) presumably in his cage crying to all high heaven. Yelping and and barking right outside of my window (of course) and within earshot of TG.

Their stay thus far has been full of fireworks, including a very explosive episode with said staff member, a large cast-iron skillet, and the head of PP. I refuse to be bullied.

I've got much more to tell you, but I'll stop right here. Next week I think it may be a good idea to give you a primer on who everyone actually is. Like a list of charactere at the beginning of a play.

Until then,



Virtuous said...

Okay please tell me you are making this all up in fun!

And "IF" this is real....is this at your new job??

LOL @ Benita Betrell you took it back there didn't ya! HAHA!

NikkiJ said...

All this time I thought you were just referring to your home as a motel because you lived with your family. I have a feeling these folks couldn't have hid their trifflinism if they tried. Did you know from the beginning it would end up like this?

Nettie said...

Although I'm sure this was not meant to be funny, it really made me laugh. You had me at Benita Batrell. =) I too know many people with pets that have enough mouths to feed and no cash to do it. It must be inbreed in them.

Kamika said...

Thanks ladies! I must be doing good at spinning this story. To answer your questions. This is about my family and some of my neighbors and it is intended to be light hearted and funny. It's a way for me to express my frustrations about my current living situation without killing folks.

I keep the most telling details to myself, as I wouldn't want to be guilty of putting others intimate business in the streets, but I like to share those things that I think everyone can relate to and that are just doggone funny.

I love reading your commentary on the stories.